Funny Dirty Jokes | Adult Humor

Joke 1 of 20

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

Joke 2 of 20

What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Joke 3 of 20

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

Joke 4 of 20

Why does a mermaid wear seashells?

Because she outgrew her B-shells.

Joke 5 of 20

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold onto your nuts, this ain't gonna be a regular blow job.

Joke 6 of 20

What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you stick the cucumber.

Joke 7 of 20

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Because Ken came in another box.

Joke 8 of 20

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Joke 9 of 20

What's the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.

Joke 10 of 20

Why do walruses love a Tupperware party?

They're always looking for a tight seal.

Joke 11 of 20

What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Justin.

Joke 12 of 20

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

Joke 13 of 20

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.

Joke 14 of 20

Why do mice have such small balls?

Because not that many of them know how to dance.

Joke 15 of 20

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalotapus.

Joke 16 of 20

How is a boyfriend like a laxative?

They both irritate the crap out of you.

Joke 17 of 20

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but dads end up playing with them.

Joke 18 of 20

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

Joke 19 of 20

What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?

A tearjerker.

Joke 20 of 20

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me!